I’m diving straight into the core issue that many of us high-achieving moms face. It might even be why this post appeared in your search results. I’m addressing a common challenge many mothers face: feeling constantly busy yet unfulfilled. I’ll show you how to find your purpose using a framework that is part of the Self-Discovery Assessment I use in my coaching program.

Are you a successful career woman who deliberately stepped back from work when you started your family?

And even if you didn’t—I think virtually every mom considers raising children and connecting with family a top priority. Our choice to put family first is voluntary, right? We wanted this.

But then, why do we sometimes feel like our cup is empty?

I’m here to tell you not to waste time feeling guilty about this. There’s a significant reason why this happens to us moms. Keep reading to discover my three-pronged framework for resolving this inner discontentment.

Busy Yet Restless?

A few years ago, I was experiencing a mix of conflicting feelings.

• I was constantly busy, yet I felt strangely aimless.
• My to-do list never ended.
• I was perpetually playing catch-up, moving mindlessly from one task to the next, one activity after another.

But to what end? I know you can relate to this too. It’s not a fun place to be, is it?

It’s both confusing and deeply unsatisfying. Despite being constantly occupied, I felt restless inside.

What I wanted was to:

• Play with my kids and make them laugh
• Cuddle up with my husband
• Be mentally challenged like I am when engaged in my professional work
• Have meaningful conversations with other adults
• Carve out time for myself
• Pursue my interests without feeling guilty about being pulled away from my family

And beneath all this, at a very basic level, I simply needed a clean house. But here’s the surprising truth…

I was actually doing all of these things. So what was missing? Was I failing to appreciate the beautiful gift of being home with my family?

There’s a Reason Moms Can Feel Discontent

After much reflection, I realized I was merely going through the motions without truly investing myself in any activities.

Here’s what was happening:

I would play with my kids but then scold them for making the house messy.

While cleaning, I’d grumble about how mundane the work was, thinking that as a highly trained professional, I should be earning money instead.

Then, when actually doing paid professional work, I’d feel guilty about not being with my family and paying others to care for my children or clean my home.

You get the picture.

What to Do When You Feel Lost

See, I wasn’t adding meaning to the choices I was making.

When you find yourself constantly busy yet deeply unfulfilled, that’s a sign you need to reflect on adding purpose back into your life.

I’m not suggesting your current life lacks meaning or purpose. Rather, it does have purpose—you just need to find and reconnect with where that purpose comes from.

What fills your cup and how you define success will be different for each of us.

What is Purpose & Why is it Important to Find Meaning as a Mom?

I’ve mentioned purpose frequently, so what exactly do I mean by that?

Purpose is the why behind all your actions. It’s your North Star.

You want to focus on that core driver that influences how you spend your time, who you spend it with, and where you’re headed. Purpose shapes all these decisions. During those restless moments in your life, begin by realigning with your purpose, especially if you’re a stay-at-home mom.

Because choosing to be more present at home or pausing your career doesn’t mean you can’t have a life filled with adventure, dreams, and opportunities.

A Helpful Analogy for Self-Discovery

Think about walking and feeling a blister forming on your foot. This might sound like a strange example, but stay with me…

The blister isn’t catastrophic—it’s manageable. But what is it really? It’s simply a sign that you need to examine your shoes or socks. Perhaps you need new ones. It’s not your fault—your needs may have changed.

Maybe you’re walking more now, or perhaps your feet have grown. (Yes, this happens to adults too! Many moms know exactly what I’m talking about—after pregnancy, my shoe size actually changed.) Similarly, when you feel a lack of passion or spark and yearn for freedom from your daily routine…

Consider this your emotional “blister”—instead of examining your footwear, it’s a signal to examine your purpose.

Have your needs changed? Perhaps you’re in a new season of life or have discovered new interests.

What is the reason that you get up each morning?

Are your actions still driven by your purpose?

Remember, it’s not your fault, but like an actual blister, if left unaddressed, it can develop into a more significant problem.

A Framework to Ask Questions on Your Purpose

Now that we understand the root cause of feeling unfulfilled, let’s explore what we can do about it.

Each choice you make reveals something about your values, passions, and goals.

For example, if you wake up early every morning, it might be because you value fitness, have a goal to compete in a race, or are passionate about running or biking.

To find purpose, I like to use what I call the Timeline Framework. You might find it helpful to pull out your journal as you read this section—there are many questions to consider. Or perhaps bookmark this page so you can return to it later.

1. Time Travel to Your Past to Find Your Purpose

The first step is to look into the past.

What values do I believe in?

What am I proud of?

What has been given to me that I value?

What problem have I faced that I’d now like to solve?

Here’s a fun one: What did I do as a child that I looked forward to doing? For example, as a child, I loved playing games—puzzles, board games, treasure hunts were my go-to activities.

I still enjoy all of these things today. It’s no surprise that they drive much of how I connect with my kids. I play with them constantly and love doing puzzles together. It’s even informed our homeschooling approach, as one way I bring joy into our lessons is through “game schooling.”

2. Think About Your Present Life to Find Meaning as a Mom

The next step is to examine the present.

What am I doing in my life right now that brings me joy or that I excel at? This question goes beyond job descriptions. These might be overlooked talents that, upon reflection, you realize, “Oh, I’m actually really good at this.”

What skills am I developing or using frequently right now?

What’s important to me and what do I care about? Remember, something can be meaningful to you without necessarily being something you’re good at.

What do I do that adds uniqueness or value to my life?

Here’s another example: I love picture albums. I’m not a great photographer, but I enjoy curating pictures—something I did as a child when I managed all the photo albums for my family. Now, I’ve transformed this interest into a project where we have an evolving picture gallery wall. Each year, we select which photos to add to our collection.

3. Be Open to Trying New Experiences Without Fear of Failure

The final step is to look toward the future.

If you could try something new, what would it be? This requires vulnerability.

Perhaps you’re intrigued by something but fear failing at it—which can be scary. Don’t worry about that right now. Be free in your thinking, because these are areas where you can still grow.

That’s why I’m here—to help motivate you and get you doing things you’re passionate about.

I want to propel you into this passion work without letting you drop any balls on the things you need to do for your family. I’ve done it repeatedly for myself and others in my circle, and the honest truth is: you don’t know until you try.

Do you like it? Are you good at it? These questions can’t be answered until you try.

For now, think of this as a thought experiment—an exercise in developing a growth mindset, being open to new things, ideas, and experiences.

Find Purpose & Joy as a High-Achieving Mom

In epidemiology, we use a similar approach. We conduct studies that analyze data collected in the past, examine cross-sections from specific points in time, or look forward prospectively. Though prospective studies require more time and resources, they often assess outcomes more effectively than other study types. This gives us a holistic, 360-degree picture of any question—essentially a scientific review.

So my scientific mind is inviting you to conduct your own review on the purpose that powers your life.

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How to Find Your Purpose

PICK ONE TIP TO TRY TODAY

• 🔲 Apply the timeline framework to reflect on your purpose
• 🔲 Identify one overlooked skill or talent you currently possess
• 🔲 Choose one new activity or interest to explore
• 🔲 Evaluate daily routines and add purposeful intentions to them
• 🔲 Schedule regular reflection time to find your purpose

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